Lately I've been experiencing an emotional numbness. I'm also having trouble with my physical health which may or may not be related to a change in my medication dosage/schedule. My therapy sessions haven't been very useful, although I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. At least it's fairly cheap to get treatment now.
I've been bordering on hypomanic for some time now. Creative ideas burst forth like rushing waters behind a dam. I feel mildly worried because I don't want to over do things but at the same time the projects are so seductive. We'll see what happens over the course of time.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
December came fast
I've been meaning to write in this blog, but between updating another blog and all that has happened, it simply fell by the wayside.
Today is more or less the last day of classes for me this term. I am impressed and relieved that I have made it through what has been a hard 3 months without a major mishap. I still had my crying days and found that medicine couldn't fix everything. I'm also fiddling with my medicine since I still have sleepiness problems.
It has been a real roller coaster - many good things have happened for me as well as a few devastating ones. Fortunately, the good outweighs the bad. My relationships have improved for now, most likely because I don't have time to obsess about them. ^_^' My exercise regimen has gone done the drain, so that is something to work on. I have turned to work too often as a means of distraction which was kind of silly because I learned that if you add something to your life, you end up making better use of your limited time (at least I hope that happens for everyone!)
The main lessons learned this term are:
1) Have a diverse set of interests and portion your life into at least 3 sections. That way, if you have a bad day in one area, you can turn to another and remind yourself that there are other good things going on.
2) Medicine and therapy does not guarantee that you will have only good days. When you're near the snapping point, try to remember your crisis plan and do what you need to in order to get through the day. If you feel like sleeping all day, allow yourself one day to do so, but remind yourself that tomorrow is a blank slate and don't let it go beyond that.
3) Remember that the supporting people around you need help sometimes and not to lean on them too much. The key thing is to be self-sufficient in the end.
4) Be as assertive and resilient as you can. If someone tells you you are deficient in an important beneficial skill, don't let it get to you. Instead, assess whether you need that skill and if you do, make your own plan to improve as much as possible so that no one can use that excuse again. This is somewhat unrealistic, but by being determined to bounce back or being honest about yourself, I feel like it helps maintain integrity, makes you listen in on your mind and body, and lets you find justification, not excuses, for why things are the way they are. If you find that you just aren't putting any time into that goal, it's probably because you've found a way to live life without it or you're just not ready yet. I leave it to your imagination how you want to decide the outcome for that.
Today is more or less the last day of classes for me this term. I am impressed and relieved that I have made it through what has been a hard 3 months without a major mishap. I still had my crying days and found that medicine couldn't fix everything. I'm also fiddling with my medicine since I still have sleepiness problems.
It has been a real roller coaster - many good things have happened for me as well as a few devastating ones. Fortunately, the good outweighs the bad. My relationships have improved for now, most likely because I don't have time to obsess about them. ^_^' My exercise regimen has gone done the drain, so that is something to work on. I have turned to work too often as a means of distraction which was kind of silly because I learned that if you add something to your life, you end up making better use of your limited time (at least I hope that happens for everyone!)
The main lessons learned this term are:
1) Have a diverse set of interests and portion your life into at least 3 sections. That way, if you have a bad day in one area, you can turn to another and remind yourself that there are other good things going on.
2) Medicine and therapy does not guarantee that you will have only good days. When you're near the snapping point, try to remember your crisis plan and do what you need to in order to get through the day. If you feel like sleeping all day, allow yourself one day to do so, but remind yourself that tomorrow is a blank slate and don't let it go beyond that.
3) Remember that the supporting people around you need help sometimes and not to lean on them too much. The key thing is to be self-sufficient in the end.
4) Be as assertive and resilient as you can. If someone tells you you are deficient in an important beneficial skill, don't let it get to you. Instead, assess whether you need that skill and if you do, make your own plan to improve as much as possible so that no one can use that excuse again. This is somewhat unrealistic, but by being determined to bounce back or being honest about yourself, I feel like it helps maintain integrity, makes you listen in on your mind and body, and lets you find justification, not excuses, for why things are the way they are. If you find that you just aren't putting any time into that goal, it's probably because you've found a way to live life without it or you're just not ready yet. I leave it to your imagination how you want to decide the outcome for that.
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