Quiet Saturday

The weather was absolutely beautiful today. It was really calming to have the sun coming down on my head and no cold wind, just a tickling calm breeze. The only flaw today was the constant ruminating in my head over things that are beyond my control. I hate always worrying and wondering and being anxious over things that can't be fixed or changed at that moment. It probably added to why I was mildly irritable today.

There were two interesting events today. One was an episode of Law and Order. In it, they were investigating mental illness patients (bipolar, schizophrenia, etc)as murder patients. Throughout, they kept emphasizing the need for patients to comply with their medications and seeing their caretakers. At one point, one of the detectives stated that patients should be forced to take meds for the safety of the general population. Now, I've agreed to take meds and I understand that when someone is psychotic, it can be dangerous. On the other hand, I felt like they were trying to imply that mentally ill people are dangerous and their judgement is not to be trusted. As a mother in the show pointed out, the media has done a thorough job of making the general public cautious of mentally ill people, and in this case, the TV show wasn't helping. Since I didn't see the episode till the end, I don't know if they changed their tune, but it was discouraging to see that bit.

The other interesting event was at the bookstore. Right now, I'm battling weight gain caused by Zyprexa and so have started to restrict my calories and increase my exercise. The problem is that I'm someone who loves food to begin with and so having increased hunger cravings is really problematic. So, I walked to the coffee counter and decided I was going to be good and only have a 140 calorie tea drink. I eyed the Yukon gold potato chips, but held back. Then I sat down. All of sudden, a huge craving for those potato chips came over me. I tried focusing on my book, but I'd keep getting up to stare at the chips, walking back and forth. Luckily, I managed to avoid buying those chips, but it was so tough!
It might seem trivial, but hopefully it resonates with any body out there on meds that increase appetite.