A Tiny Gift

Last night I had a favorable response to my dance from some people I respected. At first, I simply thought, "Oh, they're just being nice". And then I thought "Maybe I do still have a little talent in that area". Admittedly, I preferred to think that people were being charitable, but it warmed me to think that maybe I wasn't talentless.

This is important because I feel like a lot of CBT requires lying to one's self. It's supposed to be recognizing reality and sometimes it works out. But often I feel like you're supposed to tell yourself positive things about you that are a bit exaggerated. Like "You do well at your job". What if you don't? What do you do, tell yourself "At least I haven't lost my job"? Or "I'm a good person". Are you really? Do you give spare change to the homeless guy, listen considerately to others, and avoid violence?

I know I'm a pessimist, but for some things I believe I'm a realist. My realist side says "You did okay for one piece, but it doesn't mean much". On the other hand, I have a tiny bit of a dreamer and it says "You might have talent after all".