Weak

Lately, I've been sleeping as much as can, beyond what any normal healthy person would. For some reason, the world that I see in my sleep is more interesting and welcoming than anything I know in real life. I don't really care what goes on in real life anymore and I'm considering canceling all medical appointments because I don't care about them any more.

I was lying on the couch, thinking about when I was younger and realized I was stronger and more disciplined then. I think it was because I had a firm belief that I could be the best at something and I was willing to do anything - within moral reason - to get there. Nowadays I don't have anything that I want that badly, except for maybe food and sleep. It's kind of scary.