A past memory

Three years ago, I had my complete and total nervous breakdown. I didn't know what else to do, so I came to this city and decided to work while I figured out what I wanted to do. It took a few false starts and then I thought I knew what I wanted to do, while I kept playing around with ideas. Now I'm getting ready to leave to pursue a new line of study. I'd been worried about being my age and already leaving work to go back to study because I felt that it was too soon, but someone pointed out to me that it was my plan all along.

Now I'm dying for the weeks and months to pass while being terrified that I'll fail at my new endeavor. I don't feel any stronger from 3 years ago, especially with my horrible relapse this year, and I don't want another relapse 3 years from now. Some might say that therapy and medication will do the trick, but on my current meds, I'm spacey as heck, sleepy all the time, and in complete anhedonia. I'm guessing I should call someone, but not sure who...