Relieved

Relieved. Regardless of what hour I checked in with myself, I found that I was relieved that minute, that hour, that day had passed and I had survived. I wasn't necessarily happy to be alive, just grateful that I had put time behind me.

I went to the DBSA meeting again and was disappointed. The first hour was somewhat informative and interesting, but the second hour got lost to a two-way exchange between some talkative participants. At least I got to meet up with someone from the hospital program again. I think that next time I will go to a different group - it's always tricky finding the right balance. This time, I had gone to a group aimed at my age range, but the lifestyle I've been living lately is older than my age. Which isn't to say that I'm more mature - I have lots of childish habits and interests - but hearing about substance abuse, living with parents, and looking for retail work doesn't always feel relevant. On the other hand, hearing about taking care of children, spousal issues, and looking for career moves isn't always relevant either. The common theme is supposed to be illness, but the fringe topics tip the balance.