Hectic amongst other things

This week (and last week too) has been hectic beyond imagination. It's as if a new task appears as soon as one gets completed. Perhaps the pace is to be expected, but it's starting to burn me out.

I keep having interesting thoughts on treatment today, but they swirl and disappear off. The main one I've been able to keep is about meds. In the past I expected meds to make me cheerful all the time and never feel sad. Recently, I realized that what I was expecting were recreational drugs. Right now, my current meds largely stabilize me (all I take are mood stabilizers) and so while I'm not happy all the time, I can still feel the full range of emotions. I still sometimes wish that I could be made to feel cheerful all the time.

The other thing I realized was that I worry a lot because subconsciously I think that worrying will help solve a problem. It's slowly dawning upon me that it only makes me upset and ill. As a result, I've been trying more and more to NOT worry or think about something.

That's all.